"Hardy"

By: Anne Gribble
December 2010

I recall a kind and gentle man saying to me in his driveway after telling him about going to move and teach abroad in China for a few years, “Anne, I didn’t realize you were so hardy.” I snickered first of all because I have not heard that word used very often, “hardy”, especially when referring to people. A plant could be hardy, a cow in the winter could be hardy, but me? I remember responding, “Well, I’m not sure how hardy I am, but I guess I’ll find out.”

Turns out, I am hardier than I knew. I AM learning to be hardier, but I don’t have to be too hardy here in Shanghai. I have many comforts for my family, and myself but I am living among many who do not have any comforts. I am learning that I do like some comforts from home. I like MY face soap, MY perfume, MY razor blades, and MY shampoo. If given the choice, I’d pick them.

I am running out of all things American that we brought from home. We come over with 10 suitcases – clothes for four seasons that could last a year. All shoes for all sports as we were told it would be hard to find shoes to fit our big feet (not mine), but everyone else’s. We brought double pairs of running shoes to give ourselves a pair at Christmas. (Turns out we can get shoes here easily – even big sizes.) As I squeeze out the last drop of face soap, shampoo, toothpaste- I dread the realization that it’s time to start buying Chinese brand toiletries. Let me tell you, they are very different. Face soaps have whiteners in them to bleach your skin as pale as you can. It shows that you are an aristocrat and are not working in the rice patties. I’d prefer a little tint of tan in mine, thank you. The face soaps I’ve tried (five different brands) are all just awful. They foam up ok, but then when you wash them off – they just stick to your face. You can’t wash it off. You have this film on your face that is squeaky sticky. It is so gross; it just puts me in a bad mood. You want to wash your face again, but you can’t – they all do the same thing. I long for my Oil of Olay Foaming Face Wash for Sensitive Skin from Walgreens. I am bringing a years worth next summer.

I have become intentional with decisions about building my life here. We do not have many worldly items and live a very simple life. I like it. So far, I am not missing much. I do say I would love a bath or a hot tub. A teacher friend bought a 12-person hot tub with a TV screen and put it on his patio (he’s on the first floor)- I really am trying hard to get myself invited over. I even offered to babysit their cute little girl, but she’s going through a rough “patch” of the “terrific twos” so I’m not sure it would be worth it. Maybe Joey or Hailey could babysit and I could go over after the kid’s in bed. Ahh…now there’s a plan.

Doug and I were cruising around looking in shops last Saturday morning and we ran across a home décor shop specializing in modern Chinese items. Hot pink Buddhas, hot green fake bamboo coat trees, funky bright blue Chinesey vases…I did have my eye on the bright green fake bamboo vase (it would match nicely in our apartment), but I don’t want to haul it around the world with me. It was nice, but not THAT nice. I had bought some pussy willow branches the weekend before for $1 (you can get them dyed in any color you want) and I thought they would look cool in the bright green fake bamboo vase as our décor is more modern these days. (Side note: I bought the pussy willows because they reminded me of my Grandma Larson. She always had pussy willows in her house and I loved how they felt between my fingers. Bummer news…I can no longer feel their softness with my fingertips – too much computer keyboarding or playing with unifix cubes, I guess. I can feel them on the top of my hands or on my face though.)

Our ayi found a really cool place to put the soft and fluffy friends. She has complete control of our home. She arranges the furniture, dishes, and our clothes any way she sees fit. I have given over control of our home and I love it. I’ve never really been into that stuff anyway so I’m OK with it. I love that it’s clean all the time and I notice how smart she is with the way she organizes things. It just makes sense! She moved the refrigerator over so the cupboard doors can open better, moved a shoe cupboard that was out in the hall into the entry and filled it with our summer sandals, put up a hook in the kitchen for the dishtowels and her cleaning gloves, unclogged the kid’s shower, fixed the leaky sink, moved the dishes to a new cupboard, organized the Tupperware (OH MY!! China has the BEST Tupperware in the world! I will bring some home for sure as gifts.)

You can buy things very inexpensively over here. You can buy very expensive things too. Anything American or European or imported is expensive – more than the US. All other items are cheap. IKEA is cheap. Got desks for the kids’ rooms for $20 dollars. $3 to deliver and assemble! Love it! Chinese food is cheap and NOT like US Chinese food at all…lots of fish oil and they eat ALL parts of ALL animals – brains, balls, and butts. I’m sure my beef noodle soup has more surprises in it than I would like to know. I eat the noodles and sip some broth and usually leave the mystery meat. I’ve gotten pretty good at using chopsticks, as I’ve had to. No forks. I almost brought this “spork” (spoon/fork combo) from REI with me to keep in my purse, just in case, but I’ve survived without it. I’ve learned that you can just put your scraps on the table and it’s OK to bring your mouth really close to the bowl and it’s very acceptable to slurp and burp and pass wind at your leisure. Sure, hauk (sp?) a loogie at the same time, light up a cig, and then go pee on the sidewalk – it’s third world after all. Oh, and you can smoke pot or any other substance in a restaurant or hair salon if you’d like. No one seems to mind. If you call putting up with that, “hardy” – then I guess I’m hardy.

Dentist

By Anne - December 2010

One of my biggest fears that I had about coming to China was going to the dentist here. I like “the gas” when I get my teeth cleaned and have become accustomed to it. I usually get my teeth cleaned every three months because I am a tartar-making machine and my three-month mark was up a few weeks ago. I inquired around for dentists and how I could get “the gas” among teacher China vets. Bad news was found…nitrous oxide is not allowed for cleanings, only surgery. NO!!!

I found an American dentist and explained my situation to him and said that if I couldn’t have “the gas” I would need to come in dead drunk. He said he specialized in the “anxious patient” back in the states and reassured me he would take good care of me. I booked my appointment for after school on a Friday in case I needed to recover the next day. I fought the urge to get a “shot” (or two) at the local shot bar and jumped in a taxi after school last Friday and headed for the dentist. I was dropped off at a place that looked like a nondescript dump with lots of cement. (Common for China, you cannot judge a building by its exterior.) Upon entering, I noticed right away that it was a beautiful place with a few businesses, doctor’s offices, massage, and a large dental clinic. Nice place to suffer in, I guess. If I scream when she hits a nerve in one of my many “pockets”, the marble will allow the sound to vibrate throughout the building. My advanced apologies for the people getting a massage.

After filling out my paperwork, wiping the sweat from my brow, using the squatty potty for the last time (it IS China after all), I headed into the chair. I noticed the little sink/bowl to spit in from when I was a kid. They still have those here.

To make a short story long, a Chinese woman dentist, Dr. Barbara, cleaned my teeth by hand. Her assistant hovered close with a paper towel for Dr. Barbara to wipe all my tartar and plaque on. It was a team effort. I turned up my iPod as to try to escape to another land…the beaches of Maui. It worked. The skillful, swift hands of Dr. Barbara were amazing. I had not even one moment of unfomfortableness (I know, not a word.) When she was done polishing, the old fashioned way, I got to use the little sink. That’s when I missed. It’s a small bowl for a large American mouth full of long awaited water. My spit landed on the floor. Dr. Barbara just new a few words of dental “English” and those words were all used up when we were finished. I pointed to the floor and said in Chinese, “I’m sorry.” and she responded “ayi” – meaning the maid (cleaning lady) would take care of it. She actually said a lot more, but I only caught on to the word, “ayi” (pronounced eye-ee), and guessed at the rest. I do a lot of assuming and guessing these days. She was very kind about my missed attempt at bowl spitting.

I paid my RMB 350 ($ 53 USD) and the receptionist called a taxi for me. My clean teeth and I smiled all the way home.

I survived the dentist and now I know where to go every three months. I’m not sure how clean my teeth really are, but at least she didn’t hit a nerve. One more fear conquered for me. Next is trying to find a retinal specialist. Yikes.

Is this really December?

Today I'm going to share some of the everyday interests...again I guess. It's so fun to walk out every Saturday. Today it was 5 hrs. of walking to a few new spots and getting back in time to go to our Wild West staff party 65 stories up, looking over the larger buildings across the river at the Bund. We'll be going with a couple of our kids' teachers. The significant her, will be in a wheel chair from having ligament surgery--yikes--here in Shanghai. The other, a literature expert working on his doctorate, almost done, out of Rome, via Kansas. Am I rambling?

Above, Anne, boiling over, Dec. 5th, after having checked out the local bakery! Nothing like a little good squid ink to make for a perfect pastry! It's suppose to be yummy...so I've heard...Top left is what it looks to enter an apartment complex. You're never quite sure where/when it ends. Some have shops, banks, hair salons, coffee shops, restaurants, and then some, like ours, are just apartments. These are in an ex-patriot area, yet certainly 99% Chinese. Walking by you might hear French, German, Swedish, Australian, Indian, English, and even Chinese. It seems that every week we go somewhere that we've already been to, some store is gutted and changed. Construction is a 24/7 affair here. We've bought some VIP cards for dry cleaning, hair cuts, and shoe shining because your fee gets cut in half! The key is to be able to buy it for cheap. You never know, the store/restaurant/salon may be gone the next time you walk by. It almost feels criminal when you go in to get your hair cut for 14 RMB, which is about $2 US. Shoes can get shined for $.70, and dry cleaning is $1 per item...

Let's see, we just had our Winter Concert at school. The week was dedicated to getting this thing organized. Nobody accomplished much, but we Wowwed the parents. I guess it better look good for $25K. All those kiddos are in my class Ü

Anne and I were walking home yesterday, when a 3 wheeled electric bicycle hummed by with 8 boxsprings on it. There was a worker dude sitting up on top of all of them, apparently trying to keep them all balanced and/or secured onto the bike. He had to be 12 feet high. There weren't any ropes, bungee cords, string etc. I had this movie playing in my head, over and over, where the bike takes a corner and gravity and inertia come into play. There are no soft cobblestones in Shanghai. Ambulances don't carry medically skilled people. It is recommended that you flag down a cab and move the body as quickly as possible in order to get to the hospital before rigor sets in. We, of course, will not be moving boxsprings, riding mopeds, cars, and/or any electric bicycles in the foreseeable future. We are feeling very good about our ability to cross the street with confidence. On a side note, sort of, we went to dinner with a Chinese-Shanghaiese cohort and others last night, and she said there is no such law as jaywalking, although our vice-principal told us he got a ticket for it one time!! It used to be confusing watching bicycles, electric mopeds, and motorized mopeds blow through red lights. You don't need a license to operate one, and thus you don't have to follow the rules that cars have to abide by. Red and green lights, little white men lit up across intersections, and crosswalks-that are well striped-mean absolutely nothing. I think it's just a place where cars are suppose to be sure to look when approaching. Think Broadway in New York where everyone crosses the street at all points from corner to corner. No honking occurs if you are looking around and know where all the other cars are. It's just a time to get out of each others' way. In September, Anne was screaming in shock and bewilderment, but now, even she just makes sure there aren't any fast moving vehicles approaching on the green lights. Your head is always moving. The vehicles aren't going to stop whether lights are red or green, so you just use common sense and navigate when you know it's "safe."

After visiting a fairly new western grocery store today, where we bought some Dennison's Chili, Triscuits, and a Samuel Adams beer, we had lunch at a French deli/catering shop. There wasn't much English in the store. Nearly all specials, daily menu, and Christmas menu were in French. The Chinese had roasted chicken with potato cubes and veggies for lunch while some French were enjoying oysters and a good Parisian chardonnay. Anne decided on a tomato and Brie tort while I had the basil chicken and cheese panini. I loved sampling the various olives while we waited in sun. We watched a French man put out his cigarette in a large tree's pot. It was so amazing to see someone who cared enough not to just chuck the butt on the ground, that we were delighted to watch him struggle with what to do with his butt. Later, Anne asked the chef, who had been in Shanghai for 4 months-like us- if he spoke Chinese, and he very candidly let her know that he really didn't have anything he wanted to say to the Chinese...I'm giving that shop till February...

xoxo

Doug

Christmas Card?

Hi Everyone! If you would like to send a Christmas card to us - we would LOVE to get it. We don't get much mail these days. It will cost you about a dollar for postage for a regular letter and will take about a month. It's OK to get it late, we'll take it anytime! Our address is:

Doug, Anne, Joey, Hailey Gribble
Heng Sheng Gardens - 2 - #1602
299 Yaohong Road
Shanghai, China 201103

Thank you so much! Merry Christmas!
The Gribbles

PS We are going to Bangkok, Thailand and the island of Bali, Indonesia for three weeks during our holiday break. Back to work on January 10. We are ready for a much needed vacation! Wishing you all a nice holiday too.

Why China?

Written by Anne Gribble

Nov. 2010 Shanghai, China

We didn’t pick China. China picked us. China picked us for a reason. As we experience life here in this very different third world country, each day I look for a glimpse as to why we are here. I know that we are here for a reason and as the days and weeks unfold, the reason why I am here has turned into many.

Our journey started with a family prayer. We prayed that God would send us where He wanted us, even if we didn’t understand. None of us did. We were all up for an adventure, one that we were afraid may change us into different people that may not be understood by those who know us best, but we had faith and trusted that God had a plan for each of us. But China?

It’s only fair that I speak for myself, as I know that my husband and children have their own personal journeys of faith. For me, I know this is where I am to be right now. I am here for 19 reasons. Those 19 reasons greet me with smiles and bravery each day. There are a few of those 19 that stand out and are more obvious than the others; however I know in my heart that I was meant to meet them, for them to change me, and for us to share our lives with each other for 180 days.

As I continue to discover why God lead me to China and as God continues to show me why each day; I can share with you why I love this crazy place so much and why I am glad I came.

I didn’t know that I was in a rut, but I was. I am SO NOT in a rut anymore. Nothing is familiar or comfortable. Nothing is routine, nothing is ordinary or boring. Every moment is interesting, exciting, hard, uncomfortable, frustrating, fun, and challenging. I am having to think all the time. How do I say that in Chinese? How can I act it out if he doesn’t understand me? How do I get there? Do I have enough money? How much is that in US dollars? Should I really do that? You’d think I’d be tired, but I’m not. It is very energizing. I feel so alive.

I like change. I’ve always liked it. I remember when I was 18, sitting at my desk in my bedroom and made that discovery. I gave myself permission to change the things that didn’t matter…my hair, clothes, favorites. At the same time I realized that it can be comfortable to not change things and I took pride in being faithful…same athletic club for 20 years, same hairdresser for 20 years, same house, same friends, same church, same husband. It was a conscious decision to give up all of the above, except the wonderful husband of course, and move to China. I didn’t change my friends, but I have changed which friends I see on a regular basis simply because of proximity.

I have had to make the effort to make new friends. This has not been an easy task and my actions have had to be quite purposeful in order to connect with others. Unfortunately time is another factor, I am not the most patient person and would really like to have new close friends NOW, but those deep roots take lots of shared experiences, trust, faith, laughter, and time. It’s a new experience (well, everything is new here) to have friends from all over the world and try to understand their accents. (They say I have the accent!) I guess I have to trust that will come with time too and I may learn some patience in the process.

I like it here because I see things every day that I’ve never seen before and most likely may never see again. Today it was a man riding a scooter with 50 big, Mylar colorful balloons. I tried to whip out my iphone camera to take a picture as he was coming right at me as I was crossing the street, but instead of getting a picture, I caused him to have to swerve around me because I was in his way. Yesterday, I saw my first mustache on a Chinese man who was sitting on the street corner on his bicycle selling music cds. He had a radio strapped to the back of his bike, playing one of my favorite songs – “I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again…”

Living among the wealthy and poor at the same time is such a juxtaposition of sensibilities. Black hummer parked on the sidewalk, next to a street vendor selling sweet potatoes from his bike. Starbucks next to a shanty community who wash their clothes in buckets on the sidewalk, McDonald’s next to a seedy massage parlor with ladies “lounging in the lobby” that’s open all night.

There are so many deformed people begging on the streets that it’s hard to look up. There is a man who has only a head, a small torso and one arm who rolls around laying on a skate board in front the grocery store. Crud, life sure is not fair. Doug usually carries around some change in his pocket to give way. One day he gave that man so many coins that he had a hard time holding up his cup. You should have seen the smile on his face. The smile on my face was even bigger watching my husband’s act of kindness, but the sadness of the injustice in my heart was heavier. I could turn, walk away into a large store and buy everything I needed and take a taxi home if I didn’t want to walk. As difficult as it is, I like living with this in my face.

When I read in emails or on Facebook about how life keeps rolling along back in the states and as I Skype with friends and family; I don’t want to leave my new home. I don’t miss being in the US as much as I thought I might. I don’t regret the missed parties and Bingo nights or holidays. I do wish my friends and family could come here and see what I see, experience what I experience. I know that is selfish and I don’t mean to belittle relationships at all; I just want to share something totally cool with the people I love the most. ****(Open invitation to EVERYONE and ANYONE who reads this rambling philosophical babble to come visit…)

There are characteristics of the US that I do appreciate more now that I ever have before. I didn’t realize that each and every day we breath clean air. I do miss clean air and look forward to breathing it again this summer. However, pollution does make for some beautiful sunrises and sunsets. For now, that will have to do. China is dirty and stinky and polluted, but that’s OK because its people are beautiful and it’s my home for now.

Still in culture "shock"

Here is a perfect example of what happens every time there is an accident. A police officer shows up and watches those involved, their witnesses, and just interested on-lookers decide what to do. They can go to the station, look at video from the 10's of thousands of cameras strategically placed around the city, or someone with ultimately get paid off by the other and that'll be it. I've only seen a police car or motorcycle pull someone over and ask for ID twice since living here. They motor around with their lights on and blinking all day long, getting passed on the left with double yellow lines, cut off, but never honked at, even though honking is just a warning for others to let them know you're coming, are not going to stop, and to not do anything that would get you hurt or killed.

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This champion fir tree proudly illuminates our administrative offices until it gets dark at 5ish, 90 minutes after all day employees have gone home to enjoy the 65-70 degree weather. As we say when nothing seems to make sense, "That's China." Some international schools don't allow the word 'Christmas' to be spoken. Not here! We do it they way that we want!

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The scarves are just a seasonal assortment of what you'd see on the sidewalk near our grocery store. Other days it's hats, or toilet seat covers. There's always someone selling various mobile phone Sim card payment slips for the month, along with DVD's, books, jewelry etc.

Anne and I were both a bit surprised at the amount of tree that was cut down in order to keep the leaves from reaching the cement, as the temperatures begin to get colder.
There is always lots of dried fruit vendors, cooked potato and corn carts, and other perishable items that are exposed to the elements all day long.
Physically challenged boys/girls, men/women are common place out side of busy markets.
This vendor didn't want to take his picture with Anne, but you get the idea. I've never seen anyone actually buy any of these Cheeto look alikes.

Thought I'd just share how vibrant the streets are, and how the city's culture is lived there. Being a bit behind the U.S. in some categories, like health, have the culture very much exposed inside on the streets also. Tonight Anne and I were exhausted from a week of flu-like symptoms, sapped energy, stuffy noses, and coughing, so we went directly from the famous Shanghai Fabric Market, where we were outfitting ourselves for our staff Xmas/holiday party in a couple of weeks, to a good Chinese eatery right in front of our building. Once seated, we had the distinct pleasure of listening to 3 gents hack up phlem from the depths of their chests while sucking on local cigarettes. (Interestingly, we have only seen 3 women smoking in public since we've arrived! Lord knows we've seen hundreds of thousands of men smoking) The decibals are of no social concern; just like the openly extended sneezes and other personal solids and fluids shared by many. We were across the 3 foot aisle, sitting smartly in the no smoking section. I think the one with the encrusted tar on his teeth was disgusted and fascinated by the way we used chopstick, wore our sweat clothes, and our feeble attempts at his language. Lord knows we butcher it consistently on a daily basis.

Anne and I wanted to air out our lungs this a.m., so we were off to Starbucks. We got a late start, but after getting drinks we crossed a few new streets and ventured into new territory, again. Right when you think you've seen much of the city, it lets you know you have a lot more to see. Who would have thought that pigeon is just as popular to have freshly killed, drained, and de-feathered as chicken, before the lunch hour on a lazy Sunday morn! And why do restaurant owners heap pigs' ears and their chopped up appendages in medium sized plastic milk carriers and place them outside their bedroom windows to dry?

It is so easy to get up and explore in this town! We're looking for a day to set off and walk with one of our school secretaries that are fluent English speakers. We'll buy her lunch in the middle of our hundreds of questions being answered. So many "why" questions...I wonder if they have answers!

This Place is Wild!

Soooo, these are some images pretty close to home...literally. Click on a picture to enlarge! This isn't your mama's Starbucks. Ever seen a whole wheat wrap with flounder??? How about the fresh aroma of tuna bread when trying to sell your house? Starbucks here has got it all. It's really funny trying to get the drink that you want. The people working in western stores know the language for the store, but just the basics. Hot chocolate here, at Starbucks, is always the signature hot chocolate--very rich. Anne has got it down now...fix the drink, then add "this much" milk.

Top left is a block from our apartment. It's where lots of the district's cabbies eat lunch and dinner. Most meals, some sort of meat and noodle soup with complimentary tea, are about a dollar. The restaurants are simple "holes in the walls"-vinyl at best, wooden chairs, bowls of food waiting to be claimed (uncovered and exposed for God knows how long), huge rice cookers, proprietors and their wives and children prepared to serve, and all filled with white collared cabbies in blue/black sport coats hungry for their post meal cigarette...but not before a good loogie is forced up and laid on the cobblestone.

Anne is posing in front of a wine shop that took 2-3 months to open. Wine only! Have a glass or buy a bottle of Chilean, Australian, or French. The flowers are a traditional congratulatory wish for a successful business. They're usually placed after various fireworks are lit in order to scare away any and all demons. Unfortunately, this may all take place at any time of day or night, like on a Saturday morning at 6:45....

And then, below are our kit kats. Izzy is on the left, with Beans, the male, on the right. They are fast asleep. Can they get any closer? Bean's has his arms wrapped around Izzy's body--pretty amazingly cute. They never make a sound when chasing each other, play fighting, or cleaning each other. They'll even sit on our laps if the TV's off and it gets fairly quiet. Their young and will hopefully grow up understanding what their job is; snuggle up and love all humans.